One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and
fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his
childhood ( the woodcutter and the axe )
He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to
test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers.
The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a
match box and asked, "
Is this your computer ?
" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the
engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was
his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "
No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it
was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give
him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the
engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me
some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you
stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the
Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So
saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********
Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better
to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a genius than to
open your mouth and remove all doubt.

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the
house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery
shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened
last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral :
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk "PRICELESS "

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy.............

Reduce volume of tea intake.Do not eat bread which has JUST been toasted.

Stay a distance from your charger .

Drink more water in the morning, less at night.

Do not drink coffee twice a day.

Reduce your volume of oily food .

Best sleeping time is from 10 at night to 6 at the morning.

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.

Do not take alcohol more than a cup daily.

Do not take capsules with cold water.

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping .

Have 8 hours sleep. Lack of it will make a person stupid .

If you can't get on early morning runs, 5-8 in the afternoon is a great time for jogging .

When battery left last grid, do not answer the phone. The radiation is 1000 times.

Answer the phone with your left ear. It'll spoil your brain directly if you use your right ear.Do not use earphone for long time. Rest your ear a while after 1 hour.